Desi Village Jija Sali

" Brilliant Fred," mum said. "Who is it?"Fred laughed and poured us all another drink."Dunno luv, I haven't formed it yet."We all shook his hand.We found out that Fred was a widower and now that he was going to be kept busy throughout the winter, he asked mum if she'd be interested in some part time work in the pub, she got embarrassed and looked a bit uncomfortable and Fred apologised immediately."I'm sorry Polly, I didn't mean nothing, it's just well you know, I thought you might be good for trade, that's all." Fred, I'd love to honestly, but I'm pregnant."Completely unabashed, he laughed out loud."Well at least you're honest gal, I tell you what, you come and work here and when you get tired or feel like packing it all up, just let me know."Ever the businessman, he added with a grin."Cash in hand mind, I don't want none of that maternity leave nonsense, what do you say gal?"Mum looked at Jill and I and we both saw in her eyes that she wanted it, so we nodded out agreement."When do. (There's probably a real psychological name for it, but none of us know it.) You've got someone who can't tie her own shoelaces, she can only tie other people's. So she figures, "I'll tie someone else's shoelaces, in the hopes that they'll tie mine." And so she does. Sometimes it even works.But for two, it's a response to those feelings of worthlessness. We see ourselves as worthless, but maybe we can find some value in someone else's eyes. And, besides—if we can't love somebody, if we can't help somebody, if we can't make their lives somehow better... What worth do we have at all?So, in the end, it wasn't really concern for myself that swayed my heart. It was compassion. It was concern for my sister. My sister the bitch; my sister the callous. My sister, the suffering. Trina.I guess Brandon understood the look on my face. "You're going to do it." I have to," I said.He smiled at me, and squeezed my hand."But not here," I said. "Not now."I wasn't sure if he'd approve of that or not..
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